Saturday, September 24, 2005

My white coat is one blueberry pie stain away from starring in a detergent ad

Yeah, it is time for my biannual white coat wash. Featured stains include: grease from the inside of my car door, a coffee slosh up the right arm, pen marks around the left pocket, something dark brown near said pen marks, ring around the collar, AND a brown ‘ring’ stain where the stethoscope diaphragm rests.

Well, OBGyn ended with a fizzle. The last two weeks were in the clinic where, due to the director’s decision, medical students never see a patient alone. You just follow a resident into the room, stand between the sink and the biohazard trash and nod appropriately when she makes comments about weight loss, smoking cessation, or the importance of Pap smears. The best residents don’t even introduce you to the patient so you might not even get eye contact during the entire process of patient care. It’s very good training for pathologists – bad training for DocAMAZING.

I did learn about the importance of the Spanish language, or, for my Spanish-speaking readers, la lingua de Dios. There were four Spanish speaking residents in the program, and getting linked with them led to a day of (A) being a wallflower per usual, and (B) being a wallflower that had no effing clue what was being said. I had minimal on the job training in Spanish, and all of it was in labor and delivery. So unless I needed to start yelling, “Puje, senora! Puje puje puje puje puje pujepujepujepujepujepuje, PUJE MAS MAS MAS MAS MAS MAS MASMASMASMASMASMASMAAAAASSSSSS… BUENO”, then I was more worthless than the otoscopes on the wall. Really. OBGyns are baffled by otoscopes.

So, I had three days at home without any responsibilities, except for making up for twenty-six months without my wife. Needless to say I was fulfilling my husbandly duties! *wink* You know what I mean? Yeah?! Well, if you don’t, it means opening relish jars and walking down the stairwell first to collect spider web strands before my arachnophobic wife descends. Arachnophobia is the fear of spiders, but the relative eased state of mind when a loved one is flailing in the midst of the remnants of last night’s spider silk cotillion.

I’m getting prepped for Monday, the start of my manipulative medicine rotation. I hear the there is a lot of student interaction on this rotation, so maybe my blog will shrivel up and die from lack of cynical content. If so, dear reader, I’ll make sure to continue with the ever so popular copied-lyric-blog, or the Blogspot favorite: list-blogs.

Ten little sins I don’t tell anybody about this week

1. I put peanut butter on BOTH sides of my PBJ!
2. I left my shopping cart right NEXT to the cart corral, not IN!
3. I threw a bottle at a homeless man!
4. …

I better stop now before I ruin my next post…


Blogger NorCal Kitten said...

Yeah never understood WHY my ob/gyn office had otoscopes in the first place....So DocAmazing what specialty are you thinking of going into? From the sound of it probably not OB/GYN huh? lol

Hope you enjoy your time with your wife...I miss my spider killing, jar opening hubby haha so I know she's happy to have you around...I mean 26 months without relish and spiders everywhere is hell...*wink*

3:15 AM, September 26, 2005

Blogger NorCal Kitten said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

3:15 AM, September 26, 2005

Anonymous Diddy said...

Wallflower in español is "persona tímida".

Memorize it, so next time you're in that situation, you'll at least know when they're talking about you.

11:37 PM, September 27, 2005

Anonymous DocAmazing said...

Hey, Doc--

I'm quite impressed with both your site and your medical training, but I'm the original DocAmazing--I've been posting on Craig's List (www.craigslist.org) by that name since the dot-com days (at least 1998), have been putting up opinion pieces on the Netherota Records website (www.netherotarecords.com) since at least 2000, and am halfway through a memoir of my own student days (during which I tagged my campus with my Doc Amazing tag). All this stuff can readily be found, if you have a mind to.

Myself, I am a pediatrician in the San Francisco Bay Area and write a little when I have the time. I also teach med students--osteopathic ones, my favorite kind (though I'm an MD).

As I said, great blog--but please, let's not have confusion in the marketplace, OK?

Buena suerte, hermano.

11:44 PM, October 02, 2005


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